It hurts.

I'll write in my blog all my worries.Not in my diary,I'm too lazy,but here.No one reads this,and the more I keep it in,the worse I feel.My best friend/pen-pal can't know,she's a part of it.

Haha,nothing too dramatic.Or maybe a bit.She's one of my best friends.She told me things about her not many knew,or know.She trusted me,I didn't betray her,but I worried,a lot.She wanted to commit suicide,she hears voices,she self-harmed.Outside she seemed "perfect".Perfect grades,looks,personality.On the inside she hurt,a lot.I don't get why,neither does she.I want to help,I want to help her,but how?It was a worry,a constant though in the back of my head,what if she does do it this time?Then her mother read her diary,the parts where she talks about these things.So her mom knows,that made me feel so much better.Safer,somehow.

Next thing.I like a guy,lets call him Pete.My friend Andy(nickname) likes his friend Daniel(another nickname).I think Daniel likes her back.I also think Pete likes her.It hurts,and hurts,and hurts.But I can't show that,it's a privet form of self torture,a small voice saying "he likes her,not you.How could you ever imagine he liked you?"So I get really down,people ask "Whats wrong?"But I can't tell.Why do I think that?The way acts around her,laughing,joking,looking at her,listening to her.He doesn't do that to me.Now I think that all of my friends saying that he likes me is a lie.Liars,it hurts!See?Jealousy is consuming me,bit by bit.I try to resist,but it's so hard.